Super Bowl Church Cornyness

Quarterback sneak:  People who sit in the rear quarter of the church, hoping to leave before the final song.
Sudden death:  Any minister who preaches past noon.
Stay in the pocket:  What happens to a lot of money that should go toward the tithe and missions.
Blitz:  The stampede for the doors after the service, usually toward a local restaurant (typically provoked by the quarterback sneak).
Encroachment:  A particularly well-delivered sermon by an associate pastor during the senior pastor’s summer vacation.
The two-minute drill:  A futile attempt to limit the length of testimonies during services.