If you respond to or react to poor behavior from another person, you are missing the point. Behind every behavior is an emotion.
If you just focus on even the raw emotions of another person, you are missing the point. Beneath every emotion is a root hurt.
Even If you just focus on the root hurt in another person, you are still missing the point. Deeper than even the root hurt is a LIE.
I lie that has been believed and lived into. A lie that has taken hold...a strong hold (stronghold).
I am sorry to tell you, but you and I both still believe many, many lies. Our believing them is Satan's master plan. He is the Father of them.
But, God wants to give us truth--truth that will set us free (John 8:36).
In 2 Corinthians 10: 4-5, we see that the battle is fought against the lies in our minds where we must 1) demolish strongholds, 2) demolish arguments against the knowledge of God, and 3) take every THOUGHT captive.
What strongholds, arguments and thoughts are you still fighting in your mind that is feeding your hurt, your emotions and ultimately, your behavior?
Perhaps you should make a list of some lies you believe and in a column next to it, make a list of the counteractive truths.