Life is unfair. I have long believed that fair is not one of God's primary values or objectives. He certainly is many things, but fair is not one of them. I haven't worked it all out yet and don't always like it.

The journey we have been on lately has brought with it a polarity of emotions.  We have felt indescribable gratitude alongside painful grieving.  Joy alongside sadness.  Let me share one of the stranger emotions I've had. When our son had a stroke and it was obvious that he needed serious medical attention, Tricia and I, and seemingly the world around us immediately decided that he should transition to a different country (America) and receive "the best medical care he deserves"!  Sure, I wanted that for him too. Because we can. Because that's an option. So apparently, we would be stupid or irresponsible not to accept that option.

But hold on a minute.  What about Oliver, our friend's daughter who needs surgery? Or the kid in our village that can't walk or talk and no one even knows why?  Or every other child in Lily's class?  Or the hundreds and hundreds of precious children we have met and loved in Africa over the last seven years?  Or the ones in Asia? Or Latin America? I guess they should head to America as well since the medical care is so outstanding? Oh wait, they can't.  They are the wrong color or have the wrong passport or don't have enough money in their bank account.  Trust me, I felt this rip of emotion every time I went to share a Facebook update about Graceson. 

Please, please don't get me wrong. We are unfathomably grateful for the care we have received and I don't think I would change a thing at this point.  But there sure are other emotions going on inside. Sadness, shame, guilt… As I reflect on the millions around the world that don't have all the options we do. I'm grateful, but hurting in a new way.  And in time, I hope to figure out what to do with it.

May God give others with less options grace and peace and may he give us more humility and compassion.