There are many things I am learning these days. It feels impossible to capture it all. I tried my best to prepare emotionally for this season of NOT being a leader/Pastor in the way I used to be. Some days are hard, honestly. But all in all, I am learning the ever-important lesson of knowing where my value is--in Jesus, not in me, my abilities, my position or even my impact on others...it is all about Jesus!
But, here is one really cool thing that I am experiencing (because I can't preach every week like I used to)...
When you cannot preach a passage, you are forced to live with it and live in it. Oftentimes in the past, I would quickly move from receiving the truth of the message for myself to focusing on how I could share it with others.
Here is what I am realizing in hindsight...once I delivered a message, I often left it there. Just like UPS delivers a package and leaves it at your door, many Pastors deliver a passage and leave it at your church service....they are done with it. Since I can't preach all the messages I am getting these days, I just have to keep them, sit with them, live in them---me and Jesus. As a result, I am seeing scripture sink deeper into my heart than it used to. And I like it. This is a good season. Painful in some ways. But wonderful in others!
Note: I am preaching every Sunday, but more of a vision message for missions & fundraising. I reckon I will have a long list of sermons built up over the next two years. I'll have to let it out somehow, which is why I suspect I may write a book. ;-)