It's been years now since I began thinking through this whole being versus doing thing. I have heard a lot of interesting thinking on it. I am convinced about our true identity needing to be rooted firmly in heaven’s opinion. Sold. But still keep processing this topic. Wrote about it HERE.
In this ever-so-unique season of transition, I am facing new opportunities. New emotions. New lessons. All the “doing” I did in Africa is on pause. And there seems to be little “doing” waiting for me here. In the last weeks the Lord has been teaching me that my definition of “doing” is far, far too narrow. We all have an internal list of “things that matter.” Value-giving, purpose-filled, high-impact stuff. Stuff we know (think?) we are made to do. At least that is how it is for me. Here’s the real stuff:
- Impacting Nations
- Leading Schools and Teams
- Making leadership decisions
Ya know, the stuff that makes ME feel good. But what happens when God says: “Leave all of that. Walk away. Go to America and take care of your family and your heart. And don’t get distracted with opportunities. Other than fundraising, sit still.” None of that was on my “things that matter” list!! Now, what?
Now, I have two choices. A pity party that will make me, Tricia and everyone else around me miserable OR let Holy Spirit shine the light on my heart and start speaking: “your definition of doing is too narrow and your stuff that matter list is too short!” Anything that God speaks to us has to make it on the list, folks. So, to my trusty internal list (that I barely knew I had), I must now add:
- Nappy changes
- Holiday time with friends and family
- Attending church without a role to play…just sit there
- Waiting (to be asked and not force things)
- Driving kids to school
My list is growing. And changing. Now my heart has to catch up and begin believing that THIS MATTERS TOO! God said it. Which scores it an immediate place of the “things that matter” list that should make me feel full, complete, purposeful and obedient.
In ALL things, give praise. WHATEVER you do, do all to the glory of God.
Returning what I am learning….and boy, am I ever still learning. I know less now than I've ever known.