Discipleship Is Not For Christians

Discipleship is a great word-- it depicts follower-ship of Jesus.  As you know, I am down for that. However, it is a buzz word and I am afraid its meaning is getting twisted up a bit.  This past weekend, I was really inspired by a talk Steve Murrell gave.  Here is some of what he shared...

Discipleship was NEVER understood by the original disciples to mean "finding people already following Jesus and make them better at it". NO! It was clearly understood to mean "go out and find people that did not know Jesus and help them meet him and follow after him"!  Jesus was not telling the disciples to go make Disciples out of Christians when he delivered the Great Commission. (Though it seems like this is our main goal with all the "discipleship programs" churches have for their already saved attendees.)

The separation of the Siamese twins of evangelism and discipleship was one of the Greatest mistakes the church could make. Now, we get hands saved. Not hearts.

And finally, discipleship is about the basics. If you want to make disciples, you need to make peace with routine! There's nothing new here....

1. Engage lost People in love
2. Establish them in community
3. Equip them for ministry
4. Empower them to GO do the same with others

Basic.

Simple.

Incremental.

And incremental becomes exponential.

Truth or Lie?

If you respond to or react to poor behavior from another person, you are missing the point.  Behind every behavior is an emotion.

If you just focus on even the raw emotions of another person, you are missing the point. Beneath every emotion is a root hurt.

Even If you just focus on the root hurt in another person, you are still missing the point. Deeper than even the root hurt is a LIE.

I lie that has been believed and lived into. A lie that has taken hold...a strong hold (stronghold).

I am sorry to tell you, but you and I both still believe many, many lies. Our believing them is Satan's master plan. He is the Father of them.

But, God wants to give us truth--truth that will set us free (John 8:36).

In 2 Corinthians 10: 4-5, we see that the battle is fought against the lies in our minds where we must 1) demolish strongholds, 2) demolish arguments against the knowledge of God, and 3) take every THOUGHT captive.

What strongholds, arguments and thoughts are you still fighting in your mind that is feeding your hurt, your emotions and ultimately, your behavior?

Perhaps you should make a list of some lies you believe and in a column next to it, make a list of the counteractive truths.

Prayers of Faith

In the last four days, I have seen four major answers to prayer.  This is not normal for me (wish I could say it was). This has been supernatural. And it has me thinking. 

I am afraid that I have prayed many, many prayers of doubt in my life. A prayer of doubt is when I pray for something with my mouth while believing and questioning the feasability of what I am saying in my head and heart. When I ask God for something in a way that makes plenty of room for it not to happen, if he would so prefer. Those are prayers of doubt. When there is doubt on the inside, don't look for results on the outside. 

But, I want to pray prayers of faith! I want to believe what I am saying and believe what I am praying. I want to call upon the Lord with no excuses and no questions. Just faith. Faith that he will do what he has promised. Faith that He is always the greatest advocate for redemption, restoration, mircales and healing! 

Join me!  Pray in FAITH!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him" (1 John 5:14-15).

5 ways to discover the 5 equipping gifts

This week I taught at CPx on discovering the 5 equipping gifts of Ephesians 4. Over the last year, I have been become greatly passionate about seieng people discover who they are in the body.  I personally believe that everyone operates out of at least one of the 5 gifts...pastor, prophet, evangelist, teacher, apostle---and when people get it, they fly to new levels in faith and function.

(I have written about the 5 equipping gifts here, though there are some updates I would make now.)

Then, this morning Floyd followed up today with something that I thought was profound. Many struggle to discover which of the 5 they are. Here are 5 ways to recognize who you are:

1. Study.  Get to know Ephesians 4: 11-13. Study the scriptures in each place any of the five words/titles are used. Study the people with those gifts in the Bible. Read a book about the 5 fold gifts. 
2. Anointing. Soveriegn Appointing. God has celarly given the gift to you and is always trying to let you know about it and see you live into it. Listen to Him. He wants you to get it because he gets most glory when you are fully operating as He made you to be!
3. Confirmation. Listen when people tell you what they see in you. Ask people to share what they see. Others carry keys to God's heart for you. Let them speak to your heart and try to believe what you hear. It may be straight from God.
4. Modeling. Watch when others operate in a way that stirs something in you. If you are prophetic, prophetic people will stir you!  If you are an evangelist, you may find yourself dreaming to be like Blly Graham. This is one way to know your gift. If it fires you up, it may be who you are. 
5. Circumstances. Circumstances and experience will simply draw your equipping gift out.  Watch what flows out of you naturally. Pay attention to where you are flowing most freely--especially in difficult or emotional moments. 

In all of this, remember that you do not discover your gift as much by searching as you do by serving. Get on with serving the body of Christ and God will make things cleaer by the day. 

Discipled by a 4 year old?

Last night I had a meaningful moment with a man I have been disciping.  He is an African Brother who has spent quality time in our home. He said this:

I love your son, David (cannot seem to get that it is DAVIS). He has taught me a lot. There are several times that I have watched him tell you the truth about something naughty that he did even though he was afraid you might be mad. When I watched him do this, it really taught me that I need to stop lying and being so afraid of protecting myself. I must have the integrity he has to admit that I was wrong. I have also seen him at bedtime, and he is so commited to prayer.  He cannot go to bed without prayer time.  That also helped me see the importance of prayer in my life. He was only 4 years old when I saw these things, but he taught me a lot. I have never learned from a kid before.

Am I proud of my son? Yes! Am I bragging on him? Yes. But, I am not doing so to make Tricia and I look good, but to prove a few points:

1. The young can disciple and impact the old
2. People are always watching when you model integrity and commitment to Jesus
3. 4 year old kids can make a difference
4. We should train our kids in the way of the Lord as young as they can hear and obey

I encouraged Davis with this story this morning so that he knew his life was making a difference. That led us into an awesome talk about sin nature, so this afternoon we studied Genesis 3 together and saw that when people do wrong, they:

1. Hide
2. Lie
3. Blame

Davis shared how he feels tempted to do that sometimes too and then ratted on a friend at school who lied to the teacher today to protect himself.

I am learning a LOT about discipleship in my relationship with my son.

Are you discipling your kids?  It is YOUR job, not the the job of their Sunday School teacher. 

The 3 things that hold you back

I feel like I meet a lot of people that are held back, hesitant, reserved, lacking confidence. Over and over again, I see incredible gifting and anointing in people that seem to not be operating to their potential.

In my short years of ministry and through prayer, the Lord has revealed to me what I believe are the three main areas that hold people back from being bold and confident with their voices and gifts. 

1. Pain. You have been wounded somewhere along the line and you are afraid of it happening again. The wounds are not healed, so you are held back.
2. Insecurity. For many varying reasons, you are just not secure in who you are and what you have to offer. Could be lack of affrimation, lack of theology of who God has made you to be or fear of man and desire to please them and feel important. Whatever the reasons, you are insucure and it compresses your gifts and your voice. (You may want to read this blog I wrote about Jesus and insecurity.) 
3. Secrets. Enough said. Secrets in our lives make us feel totally unworthy to assert ourselves into any leadership or to speak up and offer our gifts and voice.  Secrets place major drag on your life.  (I reccomed highly that you read this post I wrote recently about secrets.)

Are you held back? Take a look at these three areas in your own life.  Take them before the Father in prayer.

I long to see your gifts released.  Please stop hoding back on us and robbing us all of what you have. We need it. We need you! Come on.

A blog of blogs

Been needing to do this a long time. I often talk with church leaders and pastors and other curious Christ followers who have questions about what we are learning and where they can read about it. I have wanted there to be ONE PLACE where people could find it all. So, here we go.

Key Discipleship Posts:

• I am afraid we are in a discipleship Crisis. Read about that here: A Discipleship Crisis?
• Should initiate discipling relationships or wait for them to come to me? My answer: Finding Discipleship; Wait or Ask?
• We disciple pre-christians in this way: Disciple to Convert
• Discipleship is obedience based, not knowledge based. This is major. Read this: Obedience-Based Discipleship.
• The rule of two: Rule of 2
• There are three types of discipling relationships that all of us should be engaging in. I write about them here: Discipling Up, Down & Across and here: Ahead, Behind and Beside.
• We must ask good questions in discipleship relationships: Provocative Questions And here are some more good questions: Can I ask you a question?

Key Church Planting Posts:

• Church is about living the three loves: The Three Loves
• More then 2/3 of the world can't, won't or don't read. What does this mean for the gospel: Making Disciples of Oral Learners
• As a result, many people of the world are oral. Storying is one creative way to teach scripture that sticks: Storying Video. Another way to learn scripture could look like this. Locals came up with this idea: Storying by Acting
• Some things about church planting have really surprised me. Here are some: 3 Church Planting Surprises
• Can you reproduce your church free and easy? If not, read this: Making Babies in Church
• Discovery Bible Studies are a brilliant tool: DBS. The SPECK tool is also cool: SPECK

Some other geneal posts:

• I bleive that the five fold gifting in Ephesians is majorly missing in the church: 5 Gifts...which one are you?
• We ought to know them and give them away: Give it away!
• I am understanding Apostolic leadership more and more...and it is helping me understand myself. Read this: The Apostle
• New thoughts I now have on Prophecy: Prophecy; A New View
• Here is a video I shot with some thoughts into redefining church: (Re)defining Church :: A Video Blog
• Want to experience a neat way to build simple church values into larger church gatherings? Read this: 600 Sermons
• Here are some neat ways to use your building when the "church" is not: How to use your church building the other 166 hours

Ahead, Behind and Beside

This year has taught me so much about discipleship. Here is one of the things that has crystalized for me rather recently...

I think that we all need to be engaged in three types of discipleship relationships:

1. Ahead: We need to ask someone ahead of us in their walk with Jesus to come over us and dsiciple us intentionally.  You open up to them and they speak into your life, challenge you and encourage you in the faith.
2. Behind: Inetentionally select people that are not as far along as you in their faith journey...particularly someone that is spiritually hungry and containing noticeable potential and then ask them if you can disciple them.
3. Beside: Engage in a few peer discipling relationships with people who are in a similar place as you in the faith. Challenge each other and walk with each other in an intentional way.

All three of these relationships must be:

1. Intentional
2. Accountable
3. Centered around Jesus
4. Focussed on obedience

I personally think that each of us should enter into at least one of each of these relationhips. Are you in any of them?  

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Older related discipleship posts:

Previouly wrote about obedience based discipleship which I define HERE.

I have blogged about the fact that I think we have a discipleship crisis HERE. 

Then, I got lots of questions about whether you should pursue discipling relationships or wait on them.  I answered that HERE.

Even earlier, I had blogged about 2-way discipleship.  Read that HERE.

Sharing God's Heart

Tricia and I have now spent a year in simple, organic church community.  We are in a house church and have started other simple churches. We are learning so many things we never knew before, as we both spent our lives in larger, organized churches, where learning these types of things are less common.

Here is one really awesome thing we are learning:

We all carry portions of God's heart for each other. There are oftentimes things that you are carrying in your heart for others that God wants you to deliver to them.  And this is church!  This is encourgament.  This is mutual edification.  This is the building up of the body of Christ.

What does this look like?

Simple. Create permission and space for people to walk around the room or share across the circle what God may be saying.  It could be:

• A word
• A vision
• A picture
• A verse
• An affirmation
• An encouragment
• A hug
• Etc.

Just last night we were at an All Nations worship gathering that lasted about 2 hours.  Throughout the evening I had words of enouragement for 5 different people- several of which were rather prophpetic and confirming some major stuff in people. And all evening I watched the body of Christ roam the room spaking portions of God's heart over each other!!  It was so beautiful. There was joy.  There were tears. It is what the Body of Christ SHOULD be doing.  

But, are we? Are you? Is your church?

If not, can I encourage you to start speaking up.  I would say that at least once a week you should be downloading some of God's heart into someone else.  If we don't do it, who will? 

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up!" I Thess. 5:11

When Good is Bad

At the center of the garden in Genesis was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  This was the tree that Adam and Eve were forbidden to eat from.  There is so, so much significance to this! The location of the tree, the name of it, the prohibition to eat from it....all carry signiificance.  

I am currently reading a book entitled "Repenting of Religion" by Greg Boyd. Loving it. Almost always love Boyd's stuff.  In it, he is opening my eyes to some new things.  I want to share a few nuggets with you:

1. We were never intended to be judges, only lovers.  Givers and recievers of the lavish and unmatchable love of God.  We were not even intended to have the "knowledge of good and evil"-- because with it, we die by it. And the knowledge of good is every bit as bad as the knowledge of evil. Boyd says this: "We are not satisfied being God-like in our cpacity to love; we also want to become God-like in our cpacity to judge, which is how the serpent tempts us.  But in aspiring towards the latter, we lose our capacity for the former, for unlike God, we cannot judge and love at the same time." 
2. Our obsesison with our righteousness misses the point.  This is when good becomes bad.  The goal of the gospel has never been to get your bad behavior to turn good.  It is rather about recieving the love of Jesus, the righteousness of JESUS (not you), and living into his righteiousness. "God is not first and foremost interested in acquiring a people who believe all the right things and act all the right ways. God's first concern, and really his only concern, is to have a people who are united with him in love."
3. How we treat overweight people in the church versus how we treat homosexuals in the church is a great example of our tendency to live with the knowledge of good and evil at the center--instead of the tree of life. Boyd says: "The sins a particular religous community is good at avoiding tend to be the ones identified as most important to avoid in the mind of that community, while the sins a community is not good at avoiding seem to be minimized or ignored altogether- regardless of what emphasis the Bible has put on those sins." 

There is so much more profound stuff to push out.  But the bottom lins is this:

When we live our lives with our eyes and hearts focussed on the "good and evil" of ourselves and others, we are religious and majorly missing the point of God's plan for us...we are not recieving Christ love and we certainly are not carrying it to others. 

Your journey with Jesus has nothing to do with your righteousness and everything to do with HIS!  That is the genius of God's brilliant plan! 

Our righteousness is as filthy rags. Isa. 64:6

Older Leaders

I want to share some thoughts about older leaders. Why? The purpose of this blog post is to increase grace, honor and understanding for leaders that are further along than you. But a few things need to be said first...

1. First of all, these reflections are from my own expereince serving under the spirititual authority of older leaders. They may not be consistent with your experiences, but they are mine.
2. Second, I am choosing to not define "older".  I will let you do that based upon whether you find the reflections applying to "older" leaders you have served with. Of course, these are gross generalizations that you can judge for yourself.
3. Third, this email is not describing any one leader I have served under, but rather a sampling of a few. And I have been BLESSED to serve under some dynamite leaders. 

Older leaders can seem inflexible. Be careful before you conclude that. What you see as inflexibilty may actually be wisdom and commitment to integrity. They have more years of practice at standing firmly on what they believe in than you do. You would waiver and call it "good" and "flexible".  They just know what they believe in, get it said, and stand by it. What is wrong, is when they communicate their commitments with a pride or beligerance lording over others. 

Older leaders can seem stubborn and unwiling to see and consider other options and opinions. Let us imagine that you are working with a 60 year old leader and you feel that they are acting this way.  Stop and remember this: that 60 year old has had a solid 35 YEARS to learn and form their values.  Their values are based on what they have seen work and fail, please God and displease Him.  So, there is very little conversation when something has worked for 35 years and now you want to try to convince them otherwise.  Sure, there is always a slim chance that their personal value is wrong. But, 1) you will not change it and 2) the chances are higher that they are correct and you just have not had that "class" yet. So, let it go. practice submission and honor and see how you behave in 20-30 years. 

Honor and respect are totally different beasts. You give honor. People earn respect. Honor your leaders regardless of how much they bother you.  Keep pouring out honor as long as you serve them. Leaders often rise to the level of honor they have been given.  You can impact them this way.

Stop taking things personally. When they question something you do or suggest or propose, they are not attacking you. You will do yourself a major favor if you would get yourself out of the center of everything. Most of the time, it is not about you. And even when it is, it is their job to make you aware of it, not your job to assume it.

Stop slamming your leader.  If you are talking negative about your leader behind their back, you will have no confidence when you are in their face and your relationship will never be healthy. Honor them bhind their back. Even with your spouse.  In fact, your spouse will almost always follow your emotions.  If you do not like a leader, she/he will not either. If you honor them, so will they. 

Older leaders are a well of wisdom and stories....but if you are not interested in receieving what they have, they will be mature enough not to just force it on you.  Desire it.  Ask for it. Don't just sit there. You have to ask questions so they feel invited to share what they have.  Older age can be a very vulnerable time....give the leaders ahead of you the confidnce that you care to hear their hearts! 

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How do you think I learned these lessons? Yup. The hard way. No reason for you to do the same.  Please share this news with others you know that need to read it. Save them some heartache.

20 Lessons from 2011

For the last few weeks I have been slowly tweeting the top 20 life lessons that 2011 taught me.  I must say that this year brought more change inside the depth of my heart than any single year of my life.  Here are the top 20 lessons I learned this year:

1. Obey Jesus!! Wether he tells you to move to Africa or walk across the room.
2. Talk less. It creates space for so many beautiful things!
3. Listen to God. He is speaking. Try listening. Listen to the scripture. Listen to His other kids. Listen to His Spirit.
4. Calm down. An anxious presence disrupts many possibilities.
5. Worship honestly. Don't lie to God w/ your songs. Remember that worship God wants has more to do w/ actions than words!
6. Love purely. This only happens when you truly love people wether you are with them or not...mistakes and all.
7. Stop judging. It is not your job and it wrecks your relationships (plank alert). Love instead- way more fun!
8. Please Jesus. Not people. People will ALWAYS dislike things about u. Quit living to please them & you might please God.
9. Speak prophetically. Listen for God & speak what you're hearing him say. Sounds whack. Takes practice. Start trying.
10. Release control. Relax. Stop over-planning & needing to know everything. U aren't in charge. (Thanks, Africa 4 this one.)
11. Stop lying to you. If you've been lying to yourself about things and it hasn't taken you anywhere, try truth. Might help.
12. Stop gossiping. Or half-gossiping. It will drastically increase your relational confidence & cleanliness. #cleareyes
13. Disciple someone. Pick them, go to them, tell them they're worth it and go all out discipling them toward Jesus obedience.
14. Be discipled. Pick someone you honor, go to them, tell them u r submitting to them to lead you toward Jesus obedience.
15. Numbers distract. Count, but u can't control them, be low when they're low or take credit when they're high. #inchurch
16. Elevate others. Used to think it was more exciting to be up top or out front. Not anymore. Now I long to empower others.
17. Spend less, give more. (In 2011 Tricia & I made less than we've made in 10 years & gave more than we've given in 10 years!)
18. Abide. Dwell in Jesus. Remain in Him. Live connected to Jesus! THIS is the key to all fruit-bearing! John 15
19. Ask questions. Good, provocative, specific & open questions. (This link has some goodies: http://goo.gl/04Zzg)
20. Rapidly obey the next thing you're reasonably sure Jesus wants you to do. Goal is obedient hearts, not perfect hearing!

The Apostle

Tonight I tweeted this:

For apostolic leaders, no 1 church is ever enough to fulfill them. Neither is 1 project. Or 1 city. Or 1 state. Or even 1 country.

Shorly after this, a friend emailed me asking me when I first knew that I had apostolic calling and gifting and how people react to that?

I emailed him back.  Then, I realized....what I wrote should be a blog for others to also join the conversation.  So, here goes. 

I used to think that Apostles were freaks and that the very word "apostolic" meant they are full of mess most of the time.  Perhaps it was because I watched Robert Duvall portray an apostle in his movie "The Apostle" one too many times.  Actually, loved some thing about that film.  Did not love some things.  That is for a different day. 

Little by little, I saw use of the term "Apostle" in the Bible and among leaders I actually trusted. Then last year, I read Floyd McClung's "You See Bones, I See an Army" and he described Apostolic Leaders in detail (I am now serving with Floyd here in Cape Town and have the privilege of being personally discipled by him). When I read his explanation of Apostolic leaders, I cried. IT WAS ME!!!!!

That was the first of many moments in the last 18 months where I realized that I AM APOSTOLIC! That is my NUMBER ONE PRIMARY spiritual gifting. Period.

Why have I been afraid of it? Maybe because it is an awesome calling? Sure it is! But the Lord told me as a little boy that he had an awesome calling on my life. Why would I now deny it over a title or jacked up cultural connotation?

Something significant has come alive in me this year as I have allowed myself to develop in a Biblical and practical understanding of Apostolic calling.

Apostles:

First ones in.

First ones out.

Pioneers.

Risk Takers.

Say the hard things.

Make the hard decisions. 

See way ahead.

Full of vision.

Always dreaming.

Always itching.

Never satisfied with where we are.

Always see more.

Always think bigger.

Often inspiring and engaging.

Can think so big that they cannot actually take step one to make it happen.

Get carried away.

Fight pride.

Chase good ideas when they should only be chasing God ideas. 

Can run over the Evangelists and Prophets.

Threaten the Pastors and Teachers.

I could go on.  With good and bad stuff.

We could and should look at passages like:

• Acts 13, 15, and 19
• I Corinthians 3, 4 and 11
• Ephesians 2, 3 and 4
• And a whole lot more.

People may judge you if you use the word, "apostle". That is their problem, not yours. Encourage them to read the Bible a few times and study every place the word is used while at the same time taking their eyes of cultural usage. If we should stop using terms because people have messed their meaning up, then we should stop using the word JESUS too!

Your thoughts?

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CLICK HERE to read a post I wrote on the Five Fold Giftings a few months ago.

THAT Area

This morning, in one of my churches, we looked at Luke 18:18-27...it's the story of the rich man.  The Lord really spoke to my heart about something today through this story.

Here's what happens:

• A rich man asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life.  While asking him, the guy calls Jesus "Good Teacher".
• Jesus says something like this: No one is good excpet God. The commandments are-- no adultery, no murder, no stealing, no lying and honor your parents.
• The rich dude then says: "Hey, I have always done these things."
• Jesus responded by saying: "You are still missing one thing. Go and sell all you have and give it to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven. Then, come follow me."
• The man gets really sad.  It hurts. He had a lot of money.
• Then Jesus makes this statement: "It is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle, than for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God."

Here's what really emerged for me:

• God does not want half my heart.  He is not impressed with 75% either.  He wants all of me.
• Not only does he want all of me, but he wants THAT area.  You know, that one that I do not want to give up.  That one that I think I deserve to keep since I do not lie, murder, commit adultery, steal or dishonor my parents.
• That thinking is about you being good.  Jesus made it clear that none of us are "good."  Did you catch that part? 
• Jesus looked into this rich man's heart....he knew his story...and he asked for obedience in the area that was most precious to him...and most difficult to yeild. That area.
• He loves our total and radical obedience. This story proves it.  Sell it all and give it to the poor.  Total. Radical.
• I do not think that the point of this story is really about rich people. You can have plenty of money and a surrendered heart. And you can be dirt poor with an unsurrendered heart.
• Heart.  It is about our hearts.  Jesus wants them, and he is not interested in sharing them with anything or anyone else.  

What is/are the area(s) of your life that Jesus would have picked if it were you in this story instead of the rich man?  Today, I have admitted two areas in my own life. What are yours?  In what areas are your heart not fully submitted and surrendered? 

Discipling Up, Down & Across

I have an intensely growing passion for discipleship.  Especially obedience based discipleship which I define HERE.

I have blogged about the fact that I think we have a discipleship crisis HERE recently. 

Then, I got lots of questions about whether you should pursue discipling relationships or wait on them.  I answered that HERE.

Even earlier, I had blogged about 2-way discipleship.  Read that HERE.

I actually now belive that there are 3 primary discipling relationships, not 2:

1. Up (someone more spiritually mature shapes you, they speak truth into you, they challenge and encourage you, they say hard things and ask provoking questions, they are ahead of you in the race, you honor them by offering them the truth of who you are and where you are at).
2. Down (you, as the more mature one, shapes and disciples the less mature follower of Jesus, you love them by digging into the dark or raw places of their life, hold them accountable and reproduce what you are receiving from the ones discipling you).
3. Across (peer discipling - you and a peer disiple each other back and forth on various spiritual issues, sometimes you are being shaped and sometime you are shaping your peer, you both share openly and sharpen each other without needing to name a leader among you--deep accountable friendship).

***I want to say that this year/right now is the first time in my entire life I have had all three of these discipling relationships-- and it is paying major dividends in who I am becoming.***

Soon, I will blog a series of three posts below.  I think it is a real need as people just do not know where to start becuase they have never done it:

1. How to choose someone to disciple you.
2. How to choose someone to disciple.
3. How to choose peer disciples.

Most People Look at Porn

Most men look at pornography. Practically all research indicates between 50%-80% of men and not too mush less than that for women--who have an even harder time abmitting it. Your Dad probably did, maybe he still does. Your brothers probably look at porn. Your husband probably looks at porn--and lies to you about it.  You Pastor likely looks at Porn too-- and is totally stuck because if he says a word to anyone, he's convinced he will lose his job.  

You might look at Porn to.  On the same computer you are reading this blog post on. 

And women look at porn too-- increasingly so.

And while looking at it, men and women alike, masturbate, leaving them artifically sexually satisfied and destroying normal sexualty with their spouse or future spouse. 

It is destructive, thrilling, addictive, exciting, harmless (so you think), harmful, and easy to hide while it destroys all that you are and all that the Lord wants to do in you.

This morning, I read one of the very best, open, and honest articles on porn that I have ever seen. It nails the issue with spiritual confidence and truth.  There IS HOPE!! 

Please click here at READ THIS post on Mark Driscoll's Resurgence Blog!!  I think you will find it powerful.  It is slightly, but appropriately graphic- be warned. 

How to Ruin a Relationship

Today I tweeted this: "Had a revelation today about how I've screwed up past relationships and how changing one thing has changed everything. Blog later."

I would like to tell you exactly how to ruin a relationship:

1. Look for the bad in a person. (You will have absolutely no problem finding it.)
2.  Judge them in your heart for their poor character. 
3. Tell yourslef how much better you are--so that you feel really good about yourself.
4. Look for opportunities to tell others about the poor qualities you've found in that person and slip it in like it is no big deal (or even as prayer requests or fake-care comments).
5. If they agree with your negative sentiments, talk about the other person together-- and be sure to justify what you are doing by saying that you just needed a safe place to vent. 
6. Make sure you tell your Spouse as well and make an excuse because it is ok to tell your spouse everything in your heart. 
7. Keep repeating steps 4 & 5.
8. Find other people that you do not like and repeat steps 1-7 again. 

Here is the impact of living like this.  Please read this carefully:

• You are sinning and the sin produces guilt in your heart.
• You are being disloyal and harmful to the person and deteriorating their character. 
• When you see them, you will not be able to look at them in their eyes.  You will shady and shifty.
• Someting will be "off" in your relationship. 
• You will be carrying secrets.
• Trust is lost whether the offense is ever uncovered or not.
• The person you have bashed gets the vibes you are slinging with your shifty eyes whether they know anything or not.
• Whether the person you gossiped to is totally trustworthy or not, the person you gossiped about WILL find out one day. Count on it.
• You become insecure everytime you are with the one your gossiped about.
• You can forget about any real in depth, life giving stuff happening in the relationship.
• You have ensured that the relatioship will not last.  It is the beginning of the end. 

Sound like I know what I am talking about a tad? Yeah, because I have been there.  Done this.  Got the T-shirt. Ashamed and repentant, Tricia and I comnmited in our hearts when we landed here in Africa 10 months ago, that we would look for the good in people and talk about that and leave the bad to the Lord to work on. And we are currently forming the most honest, authentic and life changing relatioships we have ever had. 

Do you struggle with this? You can change. Start today. Call 1-800-shutyourmouth. Or email lookforthegoodinpeople@gmail.com.

Seriously, God can heal this in you.  Now.  Starting now. And as he does you will be amazed at the confidence you will walk in as you relate to people with guilt-free eyes and heart.

A Discipleship Crisis?

I'm sad.  I'm concerned. I'm scared. Here's why.

I think we have a discipleship crisis.  Globally, perhaps.

Many, many people just are NOT being discipled.  Or discipling others. Africa and much of the west is over-evangelized and under-discipled. 

Let me just define what I mean when I use the word "discipleship." I think that someone is discipling you if:

• You have a meaningful and totally authentic realtionship with someone who focusses on your spirtual growth and followership of Jesus. If there are secrets, it is not real discipleship.   
• You meet regulalry. Weekly, biweekly or monthly. (Nice when coffee or food is involved.) Meeting less often than once a month will not bear the fruit your life needs.
• You are challenged, encouraged, confronted and loved on.  
• You are being coached toward obedience to Jesus and are being held accountable in that obedience.
• It could be a spiritual Father or Mother or even a mature peer.  But the point is that they care for your soul and the main agenda is Jesus, not small talk. Spirttual more than natural. 

"GO and make disciples of all nations, baptize them and teach them to obey all that I have commanded you." Matthew 28:19-20

"You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach those truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others." 2 Tim. 2:2

Now, let me put in very specific and personal terms:

• Yesterday I met with a 24 year old who has been a Christian for 10 years.  He has never been discipled one on one.  No one has ever asked about his soul, his heart! Ever. I see major potential in him. When I offered to enter into a discipling relationship, you would have thought I gave him a new car. Broke me.
• My sister is visiting with us now. She shared with me that in 33 years of being "in the church" no one has ever initiated a discipling relationship with her. (Share this with her permission.)
• Tricia is being actively discipled and actively discipling another for the first time in her life right now. 
• One young man that I am currently discipling has held high leadership position in his church for the last 5 years.  Not a single one of the multiple Pastors or Elders in the church have ever discipled him.  God help us. 
• When I was in the Pastorate, I did not disciple a single person with any long term intentionality in the terms described above. Yes, I am embarassed to admit this.
• I am not even sure whether I was being discipled myself...through Bible College...and as a Pastor. 

Honestly, almost every single Christian I meet is not being actively discipled....or discipling another. And the efffects are detrimental. I think that true discipleship is the conduit to the gift the world is waiting for....JESUS! 

Are you being discipled? Are you discipling others? Is your experience different?  Am I just missing it and sounding an uneccesary alarm? I hope so.  Please tell me your expereince. Comment. 

600 Sermons

Here is an idea I would like to share with you. Forward it to your Pastor.

This idea starts to welcome simple church DNA into established church structures. 

There is a biblical value of church that many of us are sorely missing out on.  Here it is:

We ALL bring something of Jesus when we gather. (I Corinthians 14:26)

God speaks to all of us....the educated and uneducated, rich and poor, fat and skinny, greedy and generous, black and white, short and tall, mean and nice...ours is a living God that speaks to all mankind through His word, His spirit and His people. 

Do you believe that?  If not, there is no need to read on.  If so, you may like this idea.

Here goes.  Follow these 10 steps:

1. Pastor is supposed to preach on Sunday.

2. Instead of preparing a sermon, he prayerfully selects a story from the Bible. Let's say he choses John 10:1-10

3. Pastor prays that God uses it among the church and tells no one what he is planning to do (because people freak out over change).

4. Pastor takes stage to preach, opens Bible and reads passage.

5. Pastor says something like this: "This story is so good!!  When I went to prepare to preach on it, I got totally excited about what the Lord may show each of you from the story. I bet that God has some powerful things to say through you today and we need to hear it."

6. Pastor asks people to place themselves into groups of 4-6 people that they are fairly comfortable with. It is ok to be with your friends and family. (At this point the people will look at you and do nothing for a few seconds and the anxiety in the room will increase 10 fold. This is how you know you are moving in the right direction.)

7. Pastor asks the groups to have two more people read the story again...once for the head and once for the heart.

8. Pastor asks groups to work at the following 3 questions: 1) What do you understand in this passage? 2) What do you not understand in this passage? 3) What will you do to obey what God is saying to you through this passage? OR these 3 questions: 1) What do you notice about God? 2) What do you notice about people like us? 3) What will you do to obey?

9. Ask for a few folks to share something that they heard from someone else, that was very powerful. (Rule: they may NOT share what they said, only what they heard another say.)

10. Pray and Dismiss church.

What happens?

• Some people get mad the Pastor because he made them uncomfortable. Pastor may get some emails being told "preaching is what we pay you for."
• Some visitors feel weird for a minute cause they don't know anyone. Who cares? At least they know from their first day with you that you all share with each other and listen to each other.  That's what every human longs for. 
• Iron sharpens iron.
• People are mutually edified.
• Everyone shares.
• Everyone is heard.
• Scriprure comes alive for people.
• Some people make new friends.
• People learn each other's names.
• The Pastor gives some of his power away.
• The volume in the room rasies substantially as it buzzes with spiritual dialogue.  So cool!
• Jesus is glorified.
• And imagine that the church doing this is about 200 people in size...instead of one long sermon being preached, there are about 600 short sermons being preached by 200 people. How cool is that?

Note: I am not suggesting that you a) do this to tick people off (that is a wrong motivation) or b) do this every week.  But what may start to happen in the church that does this once a month?

I just believe it is time to get people talking.  They have so much to give each other. 

This idea starts to welcome simple church DNA into established church structures. 

Provocative Questions

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I am coming to believe that there is major power in asking the right questions.  I am also learning that I stink at asking good questions and I want to get better. Proverbs 20:5 tells us that "the purposes of the human heart are deep waters, but those who have insight draw them out."  I yearn to draw things out of the waters of people's hearts. 

Here are 10 AWESOME questions to ask an accountability partner each time you meet. Use them regularly with another Jesus follower and I promise you that there will be fruit flowing from it.

1. Have you been a testimony this week to the greatness of Jesus with both words and actions? 

2. Have you been exposed to sexually alluring material or allowed your mind to entertain inappropriate sexual thoughts about another this week?

3. Have you been responsible with your finances or have you been consumed with wanting something that does not belong to you?

4. Have you been honoring, understanding, and generous in important relationships this week?

5. Have you damaged another person by your words, either behind their back or face-to-face?

6. Have you given into an addictive behavior this week? Explain.

7. Have you continued to remain angry toward another?

8. Have you secretly wished for another's misfortune so that you might excel?

9. Have you spent daily time alone with God in prayer and in the Word this week?

10. Have you left anything hidden in answering these questions?

Can you imagine what would happen if we all met in pairs, triads or quads and worked through these regularly?  Wow!  HERE is the link for these questions at their original source.  They are called LTG questions. 

 _________________________________

For kicks and grins, here are some more provocative questions that I compiled and weeded through.  You could pick and chose these as the Holy Spirit leads you. 

This week....

(Spiritual)

• Did the Bible live in me this week? Did I give it time to speak to me every day?
• Am I enjoying prayer?
• When did I last speak to someone about my faith? 
• Did I disobey God in anything?
• Was Christ real to me? 
• What known sins have I committed since our last meeting?
• What temptations have I been met with? Were you delivered? If so, how?
• In what ways did God make his presence known to you since our last Meeting?
• Which spiritual disciplines did God use to lead you further into holiness of heart and life?
• Have you sensed any influence or work of the Holy Spirit since our last meeting? 
• What spiritual gifts did the Spirit enable you to exercise? What was the outcome?
• What is the condition of your soul? 
• What sin do you need to confess? 
• What have you held back from God that you need to surrender? 
• Is there anything that has dampened your zeal for Christ? 
• What do you need to ask the Spirit of God to reveal to you that you have not yet understood? 
• Have you spoken with a non-believer about your faith in Jesus Christ? With Whom?

(Relational)

• Is my conscience clear in how I feel toward and speak of the people in my life?
• Did I break people’s confidence and share private information I had no right to share?
• Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I going to do about it? 
• Is there anyone toward whom I am jealous?
• Did I give priority time, energy and emotion to my spouse and kids this week?

(Sexual)

• Have I been with a man or woman anywhere this past week that might be seen as compromising? 
• Have I exposed myself to any sexually explicit material? 
• Have I commited adultery or fornication this week?
• Have I crossed any lines that it seems clear Jesus did not want me to?
• How pure or impure have my thoughts been? 

(Financial)

• Did I pray about the money I spent?
• Have any of my financial dealings lacked integrity? 
• Did I buy things that I did not need?
• Am I currenytly looking to justify a purchase that I know I should not make at this time?
• What have I given away this week?

(Character) 

• Was I consciously or unconsciously creating the idea that I am better than I am?
• Was I honest in all my acts or words, or did I exaggerate? 
• Was I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
• Was I self conscious, self-pitying, self-absorbed, self-centered or self justified?
• Did I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy? 
• Was I defeated in any part of my life? 
• Was I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful? 
• Did I grumble and complain? 
• What fruit of the Spirit would you like to see increase in your life? Which disciplines might be useful in this effort? 
• What opportunities did God give you to serve others since our last meeting? How did you respond? 
• Did you encounter injustice to or oppression of others? Were you able to work for justice and peace? 
• How has the Bible shaped the way you think and live?

(Schedule)

• Did I get to bed on time and get up on time?
• How did I spend my spare time?  
• Have I spent adequate time in Bible Study and Prayer? 
• Have I given priority time to my family?
• Did I invest the proper quality / quantity of time in my most important relationships? 

HERE is where I gathered most of these questions and sorted through them. This is a compilation of the ones I liked best.